Autumnal Haiku

Last week when I talked about November  I was surprised to see how many of my readers liked this morose month and so one day I decided to try something new … 

I wrapped Peanut up in blankets:

  • he turned into a raging banshee
  • I took ten deep breaths
  • he showed signs of being open to bribery
  • I bribed him with with some dried fruit (this strategy works like a charm) and at the same time I corrupted his wee innocent soul …again
  • we went for a walk

My mission was to become friends with November.

How did it go? I will leave it up to you to decide.

Here are some snippets from my diary entries from the last few days:


Letters to Peanut Free on Kindle Until Tomorrow

Dear Readers

A couple of weeks ago I announced that my wee e-book would be out soon and so here it is:


My pregnancy and motherhood diary written as letters and poems because there is nothing more beautiful than:

  • the art of writing letters.  Not emails or tweets or text messages but filling a plain sheet of paper with scribbles and doodles and whatever else you may want to put in a letter.
  • poetry– poems often stay with me for a very long time after I have read them and words and images haunt me like friendly ghosts.

In Letters to Peanut I wanted to catch the emotions that come with first discovering that you are going to become a parent in nine months and then with grappling with sleepless nights, leaking bras and the first twelve months of being a mother (as well as the occasional panicked feeling of ‘Is this for real? I’m actually allowed to be responsible for another human being?)

But it is not all panic! There are times of immense joy that I would love to share with you. The first scan, steps and that first time Peanut made it clear that a chip off the floor was a delicacy worth three Michelin stars unlike anything I cooked.

Here is one of my favourite haiku poems from the book.  I wrote it during long and sleepless nights when the whole world seemed to be fast asleep apart from me, Peanut and a curious fox:


together we learn

the night language of foxes

And for the book romantics out there – print copies will be available in a couple of weeks (formatting takes a bit longer).

This is my very special and magic moment – introducing Letters to Peanut to you and it is FREE for you to download until Saturday 9 November!

I will also be sharing my experience of self-publishing over the next few months so watch this space.




P.S. I would love to also thank everyone for the amazing support so far.  And a big hug to Helen Braid – a very talented and patient cover designer.

Post Comment Love

Letters to Peanut E-book Out Soon!

Here is how it started…

Dear Peanut

One day you will ask me what you were like as a baby and whether you have always hated broccoli.  And if it is not you who asks this, it may be your psychoanalyst.

I will not always have the answers you want.  You know the score, too little sleep and too much gin have done some damage to your mother’s already distressed brain cells so I have scribbled down all my memories of you in the first year of your life.

This is the story of your beginning.




And here is a sneak preview of the cover designed by Helen Braid:


I did it – took the plunge and typed up all my poems and letters written first to the ‘bump’ and then to the newborn Peanut.

Letters to Peanut will be available on Amazon very soon.

So watch this space!




Post Comment Love

Letters To Peanut – A Highland Tale

Dear Peanut

Holidays are great. Adventure on its way, a long drive and lots of stops to admire various sites and give you a chance to stretch your legs and waddle about.

This is the second time in your life you went to the Highlands and this time to a sleepy village of Glenelg. A magic place hidden between bottle green and mustard brown hills and the misty Isle of Skye.

One Saturday morning we compacted our life into a couple of rucksacks and IKEA bags (mainly filled with toys and nappies) and set off to stay in a cottage that once belonged to the Forestry Commission. A cosy red wooden house surrounded by shrubs.

It had a big wild garden that you loved inspecting every morning after breakfast and at least once an hour after that, just in case the grumpy hen or the funny black cat came back to use the rose patch as a toilet. At the foot of a neighbouring hill we found two rocks that looked like speckled eggs left behind by a giant grouse.

You are a bit like your mum – you want to run before you can walk which results in bumps and bruises, an occasional tear and of course lots of cuddles so we ran lots and we walked even more and we made friends with the local sheep.

It is important to take time out of the busy life every now and then and we did it well, with smells of home cooked food filling the cottage every evening and discovering hidden gems like wild meadows, a black sand beach and a row of stern hills. And don’t forget a few playful seals.

I have captured a few memories for you to look back at one day – maybe you will remember those dreamlike holidays when you are half way up your first munro that has a lisping Gaelic name.


Swollen skies, surging streams
I point at a tree
You shake the rain out of it

A seal plays peekaboo in see-saw waters
The boat rocks and I pray to the gods of mighty seas
You bark and I tighten my squeeze

A Highland Tale

in a glen of steaming hills
dragon feet rest

a duvet of lime moss and purple heather
shields them against dreich Highland weather

said feet and their owners long forgotten
when other mythical beasts
left as time and people cut their way
through the bushy mists

we tread gently

let the fierce creatures sleep in peace
like they have done for thousands of years

or at least


you hate
the look of a tree
your dad’s warm words
and my honest hand

the dragons blink to wild screams
of the one and only banshee
brought back to torment their dreams

they sigh
they snap
they flee

SAM_1899 SAM_1898 SAM_1897

Prose for Thought

Haiku VI

Dear Peanut

This week is all about language.  Your first words that sound more and more ‘real’ and less like baby babble (which I find very adorable by the way).

Everyday we listen to you commenting on the food and demanding Unidentified Forbidden Objects.  You get frustrated when we don’t understand what you want – sorry wee man.  Sometimes we get it wrong.

You are growing up surrounded by two cultures and languages and I joke that you will be phonetically confused for a while.  On one end of the spectrum – the pesky English sounds of th and ph.  On the other end – Polish surging sz, cz and szcz as in szczcescie (luck in Polish).

I may be biased but your little voice is the cutest I have ever heard (even when you throw a tantrum – see below).


Mum xxx


zis, yis, ahmam

your first words

busy swallows in your mouth


torrential tears, furrowed face

furious frog on the floor

my No – your sprawl


my keys, my phone, my time

my toast, my drink, my love

Dat  is for what’s yours is mine

copyright BlueBeretMum

Haiku II

These three haiku-like poems were inspired by a wonderful afternoon that Peanut, a friend of mine and I spent in the magical world of the National Museum of Scotland


Grouchy camel sneers

You and me – the weight of a chimpanzee

 Your hand comforts a rock



  Chinese dragon snores

  Whirlwind spin – dizzy head

  Lion’s ready to roar

d3Gossip and friend and tea

Long gone knights and kings and queens

Noon – the Millennium Clock chinks



A Japanese poem.  A contracted form of haikai no ku ‘light verse’.  It has seventeen syllables, in three lines of five, seven, and five, traditionally evoking images of the natural world.

After some head scratching, nail biting and pondering I decided to scribble some poetry and show it to the cyber world.  So here are my three haiku and motherhood inspired poems. 

Dummy in my shoe

Far away, a baby cries

Pink cherry blossom


Child’s hand in mine

Two shadows on the pavement

Seven seagulls shriek


Water splish-splash

Evening bath – silver laugh

Cross car horn outside